Argylle Movie Review - From Vaughn With Laziness
Nine years since the release of “Kingsman: The Secret Service”, it’s pretty obvious that—with the pictures he would eventually staple to the big screen—director Matthew Vaughn has found his niche; exaggerated, all-guns-blazing, satirical black comedy spy capers compacting a scintillating or raunchy sense of humor backed by an ensemble cast of recognizable actors. His signature motif may have struck gold in 2015’s “The Secret Service”, but by the time its sequel “The Golden Circle” ambled on over to theaters two years later, much like Sophie Turner’s plastic surgery, what was good about it before is now gone. Its once risqué comedic relief was about as juvenile as a Happy Madison picture and its storytelling went the way of the woolly rhinoceros. To those wondering, no, I still haven’t watched “The King’s Man” yet, and I doubt it’ll heal those wounds.
With my past gripes in mind, I wasn’t expecting anything much from Vaughn’s latest spy caper Argylle. By the time the movie was over, it ended up being exactly what I figured it would be: something that would have the same vibes and eccentricities of the Kingsman franchise but with a different premise. And I must say that I’m sort-of right. It’s bereft of any puerile sex jokes like “The Golden Circle” (which is a breathe of fresh air, I guess), but, unfortunately what Argylle has in common with the former is the fact it’s contrived chore to sit through.
Famous author Elly Conway is on track to complete next novel to her beloved Argylle series, when suddenly, she is intercepted by secret agents; some wanting to protect her like co-star Sam Rockwell as Aiden, and others who are a part of an evil organization called The Division led by a sniveling Bryan Cranston seek to capture her. Why? The story unfurls that Elly’s novels reflect actual events that happened in reality. With Elly writing her next chapter of her last book, it could provide clues and potential locations to a drive that’ll expose the identities of The Division to the CIA.
The bummer of this whole film is that from the outset, it starts off decently and grabs your attention by the first eight minutes. By the time film reaches to the late second act and approaches the third, the movie not only refuses to let go of utilizing deus ex machinas one after the other (like a character arriving out of nowhere to save one’s life or being extremely lucky with an action that could’ve easily killed someone had that character messed up), you are flooded with an overabundance of twists that are nothing ‘greatest hits’ of tropes used in spy or espionage thrillers: a character revealing themselves as a double agent, a blatant example ripped straight off from “Captain America and the Winter Soldier” that arrives at the last minute to serve as a contrived two-minute climactic action scene, and the ultimate reveal as to who the real Agent Argylle is can be solved within 30 minutes of the movie’s 138 minute runtime, including an after credits scene that makes even less sense the more thought you put into it.
And speaking of making less sense, let’s touch on the action scenes, shall we? When it comes to the , the difference of course between “The Secret Service” and Argylle is that Argylle’s hones in on how colorful and flashing the set pieces while the audience realize how mind-numbing and over-indulgent they truly are. Whether it’s repetitive action scenes involving Rockwell and the fictional Argylle played by Henry Cavill flashing back and forth through the eyes of Howard’s character, a gun-wielding, oddly well-choreographed dance number where colored tear-gas surround the hallways or a scene that involves oil that doesn’t so much as jump the shark as much as it jumps the megalodon.
What’s salvageable about this film is most likely the acting. Everyone from Bryce Dallas Howard, Catharine O’Hara, Bryan Cranston, and John Cena with his limited cameos offer above par performances, but actors like Samuel L. Jackson and Ariana DeBose are wasted with what little the screenplay gives them. It’s even more of a shame when the majority of the movie is carried by the charisma of Sam Rockwell. Not only is he exceptional as Aidan, but he’s genuinely excellent with his comedic timing and personality even if the jokes aren’t particularly funny.
And Henry Cavill as Agent Argylle? The man who’s put front and center of the film’s poster? You can just watch the trailer and witness almost of all his scenes. Although, it’s practically for the better because for the time he is on screen, he has the same vacant, wooden performance he’s been pulling off for how long he’s been in media.
Argylle wasn’t exactly a disappointment by any stretch of the imagination, but neither was it a film I expected to be good, either. With each spy comedy pinched by Vaughn, it appears that he is running out of tricks and ideas and the writing has gotten progressively lazier. In addition to it being on the verge of becoming a box office dud, it could be a sign that audiences might have had enough with his oeuvre for Kinsgman films other spy comedies—not to mention the film for some godforsaken reason costs $200 million to make. It’s time for Vaughn to either return to the qualitative roots of “The Secret Service”, or to pick another lane.
Rating: 1/5
