The Watchers Movie Review - Don’t Watch This…Don’t
In years past, we’ve seen the film-making progeny of famous directors make their mark in the industry. Some aren’t as lucky such as Luke Scott (Ridley Scott’s son) who debuted with, unfortunately, a science fiction dud in 2017, “Morgan” but has lifted himself up with a handful of short films and three episodes of 2020’s “Raised by Wolves”. On the other hand, filmmakers such as Sofia Coppola, Rob Reiner and Jason Reitman have made a bunch of tremendous films that earned their reputation in Hollywood. One individual stepping up to the plate is one Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of divisive auteur, M. Night Shyamalan (you know, that one guy who made “The Sixth Sense” and “Unbreakable” before his career went straight downhill). Her first attempt is The Watchers, the latest horror film derived from the gothic novel by A.M. Shine of the same name.
Dakota Fanning plays our main character Mina, an American immigrant overwrought with guilt after the death of her mother from a car crash during her childhood. Working at a local pet store, she is tasked to deliver a fascinating parrot species to a Belfast zoo. When she reaches a forest amid following directions, her car unfortunately breaks down leaving her no choice but to walk. Her journey is put on hold as she encounters a building with a double-sided mirror filled with three survivors, who provide her instructions: you are safe to wonder at day, but at night, you are to keep safe and present yourself in front of the mirror for what they call ‘The Watchers’ in order to stay alive. Who are “The Watchers”? What is this cage doing in the middle of the woods? All questions will be answered in a movie that is, unfortunately, really, really bad.
The first problem that you would notice from the first act of the movie is the fact that both the dialogue and the performances are reminiscent of how M. Night writes lines and how the actors are supposed to deliver them. The acting is so pale and stilted that the only character that comes away with any kind of dignity is the parrot, who probably has the best comedic moments of the movie. Aside from that, Dakota Fanning never manages to deliver the impression of someone dealing with grief and trauma, and everyone else stands around lost on screen unleashing a tsunami of exposition about lore or information that could’ve been easily explained by visual storytelling rather than the former or horrific dialogue that could only be written as if M. Night decided to help write lines for his daughter. It doesn’t help the fact that the plot is contrived to a degree that it relies so much on our characters being so stupid that you are flabbergasted that these group of wandering nitwits even made it this far in the Coop (what the cage of the film is called).
But what breaks down the movie’s walls is the last act of the film where everything is unraveled Shyamalan-style as to what the story is actually about, who the watchers are and why everything is even happening; it renders the plausibility and any kind of sense the premise and plot would be sub-microscopic. Seriously, it is a plot hole hydra. Every time the movie pulls from its bag of twists one turn after another, one or two more plot holes emerge.
If I were to be the slightest bit charitable, the film is at least capable of filming a gorgeous shot or two and at times the film uses nice touches of atmosphere, especially a panning shot that examines what goes on in and outside the bunker. Though it is Ishana Shyamalan’s debut, I’m sure she can improve from her mistakes in her next attempt because this was such a misfire in almost all regards. What was a concept that could’ve been executed well like the literary work it’s adapting, instead is a bad case of “Like Father, Like Daughter”.
RATING: 0.5/5
